Hais, never have i thought i would ever be feeling this thing people call STRESS. Being a happy-go-lucky girl, i really never expected myself to be feeling stress from secondary four life. Schools ends later than usual, expectations are higher. No more fooling around like i did the past 3 years. Taking N levels this year, thou it might still be a few more months away, it would soon arrive, and i really wanna promote up to secondary 5, graduate and leave the fucking school. Besides feeling stress over studies, i still have to be stress over my relationship. Once the exams come, i would not have time for laogong anymore. Really afraid that he might leave me, but at the same time, it would be a really great test to test how stong our relationship is.

Quarrelled with laogong not long ago. Told him to spend more time with me as i wouldnt have time for him once mid year exams come. Really glad he could understand and give in, taking all my nonsense. He said this to me, 'Dear..To me..I think that we are really meant to be with each other..I hope you understand that my school just started..not that i dun wanna spend time with you but its because i cant neglect my friends,they study same with me and work so near to me, i wanna tell you dat i really love you.. can please trust me? ' After reading the message, i indeed felt better and felt more assured. Hais. Laogong, i hope you understand the stress im going through now and thanks for putting up with all my nonsense. I do trust you, just that im afraid my greatest fear would happen and that would be losing you. Pls dont ever leave my side, i really need you to support me now, catch me whenever i fall and be the one that will always be by my side, comforting me when im sad or stress, YOU are the one i need most now, so pls, dont leave me.

Hais ( ::"-":: )

Samantha <3 Marcus